1) Who is Mai Tt? (Your real name and a bit of your background.)
My birth name is Felistas Muracha. I’m the fourth born in a family of five, a mother and an entrepreneur. My village of origin is Buhera but I grew up in Budiriro.
2) How did you manage to overcome the stereotype that comes with being a single mother?
It’s not easy because single mothers are always misjudged, treated as prostitutes, failures and as people who failed in their marriages. Society sees us as the cause of our divorces, separations or be it just getting impregnated and not have the father be there for your kids. So coming from such a society, it has not been easy for me because I have been a single mum for a long time. In as much as I’m married I still feel like a single mum because I have lived that life for so long and whenever I have tried to be with someone I have gotten heart broken, I have given my all but at the end of the day it would not work out and I find myself back at being single, being labelled as a prostitute. When I failed I would try again and society would view it as jumping from one bed to another yet that’s not the case, I will be genuinely looking for love and when you fall for someone your goal is to have a successful relationship but the men would misbehave and I would have no choice but to leave. You cannot force love or force someone to be with you and this goes against my motto which is where you aren’t needed you shouldn’t stay because your happiness comes first. So yes, it comes with a lot of pain. To this day society judges me and a lot of labels are stuck on me. Even though I am married I am still called names like a prostitute and I get insults and a lot of hurtful words. I have settled down and am married but it’s just one of those phases where they think the person is going to leave me eventually. These people don’t believe someone is going to come and stay in my life because they have seen what I have gone through and they don’t believe that I am also someone who deserves to be loved. They just want to see me miserable so it’s a challenge I’m still facing and maybe a challenge I will die facing but I try to remain strong and keep believing and standing by what I believe.
3) What are your views on co-parenting?
I think co-parenting is good, it helps the child mentally because whatever happened between you and the father/mother of your child does not have to affect the child. I used to be in denial when my ex-husband left me, I would restrict my child from seeing him because I felt he had hurt me but then later on I realised that he might have hurt me, we might have fallen out but it had nothing to do with our child so I started giving him access to my child and things started working out. Now we are friends and we co-parent very well. We both have our partners and they understand, we are one big happy family.
4) How best can we empower women in Africa? As an ambassador of the girl child in Zimbabwe, what is your vision in regards to that?
I do empower a lot of women, children and specifically girls who are still growing and one of my principles is one must work for themselves before they start looking for a man who works to take care of them. You have to be financially stable before you can start depending on a man. Yes, a man is supposed to take care of you but in this age and time where the economy is tough on everyone, a man may have the heart to take care of you but he would not have the resources to do so, the money is just not enough because of the economic situation if you are empowered and
you work when you get married you won’t have a problem because you’ll be helping each other with your partner. I prioritise a girl child who works hard without jumping to sugar daddies and rich guys. Empower yourself, be educated enough to know that when you look for a job you will find it without complication because looking for rich men will not get you anywhere. Those things are fleeting and they do not last. They are like bubble-gum, they are sweet at first but later on they lose taste, and before you know it, it’s over because these people won’t be there to stay. So the permanent thing that you can give to yourself is educating yourself, make money for yourself, work for yourself the rest will come on its own even if men come and leave, you will still be okay, you will still have what you achieved on your own. No one can take that away from you and noone can hold you ransom and claim something that you worked for, be financially independent before you commit yourself to someone else and this is the impact I want on each and every girl child, and every woman out there. My vision as a girl child ambassador in Zimbabwe is to see women thrive and do things that men think they cannot do. I want women to surpass all that degrading and all that stereotypes that women cannot do certain things and that is my vison. If had enough resources, I would empower ever woman financially because I do not want to see women suffer. We go through a lot as a gender from the time we are born and we deserve the best of life because for a man to be there, there had to be a woman to give birth to him so my vision is to see every woman succeed.
5) When do you think one should leave a toxic relationship?
The moment they realise the relationship is toxic they should leave. You do not need to keep trying because sometimes you might die trying to mend a relationship that is beyond repair. If it’s not working leave and if it’s not doing well for you just let it go. You should not force it because it will affect your mental wellbeing and will leave you unhappy. As I mentioned before, one should not stay where they are unhappy. You should not be in a relationship for people but for yourself. Your health, your mental wellbeing matters before anything else. Love yourself before dedicating yourself to someone else.
6) Congratulations on your marriage (Now Mrs Maphosa). How has been your experience in marriage so far?
Thank you. Concerning my marriage to Tinashe, marriage is a beautiful thing and its something I have always prayed for. I believe every woman wants to be married, no matter how powerful they may be. You want a partner, companion, someone who can make you happy, someone to make you smile, someone who can be around to check up on you when you are unwell from time to time, it’s a need. My marriage has been blissful thus far, it has been good though we faced so many challenges because a lot of people disapproved. They did not want me to get married. I have been labelled as someone who can never stay with a man and when this man came into my life and people saw how serious he was they started hating him for loving me. He is often attacked for no reason. They imagine he will lose his interest and focus on me and think that since I am surrounded by controversy and constant drama and he cannot be with me but he has shown me that in the midst of darkness, storms, he is there. I appreciate him for being there for me when I’m down. He knows when I’m down and when I’m not okay. One of the things I like about him is he knows the word of God and each time I feel like giving up he always encourages me with the word of God. I am very grateful that this man came along and I always pray that he
stays because I do not want to try again, I want to believe that I have found the perfect partner for me and I do not want to lose him. That is my prayer so together we are a strong couple. We are force to be reckoned with, strong individuals and we are coping very well. He has a stronger Christian background than mine and is more dedicated. He is a prayer warrior and has taught me a lot of things that have to do with prayer and I am happy.
7) When it comes to dating, what guiding principles can you share with women especially single mothers?
My advice would be, do not just get a partner for the sake of being with someone. Find yourself a partner who clicks with you, who interlinks with you, who understands you, and above all when you are a single mother make sure the partner loves your children. Loving you is not enough, you have a trailer that you will pull for the rest of your life and that trailer is your children. Never abandon your children for love. Even for a million dollars never give up on your children because there is a man who claims to love you but cannot be there for your children. If a man loves you, let him love you with your baggage. I’m not saying he should be taking care of them, if he doesn’t want to take care of them it’s okay but they should love your children because your children are your life.
8) Please tell us about your achievements and how you managed to turn your wounds into glory.
I have amassed a lot of accolades and awards. It has not been easy because there is always competition in the industry. Instead of cheering for each other we compete against one another. When someone does good some will laugh at the person who would not have won but the goal is not who wins but to climb up the ladder and not fall down. I celebrate my achievements and I am proud of myself. I am where I am because of pain, pain made me who I am and has made me stronger. In as much as I have broken down sometimes pain has strengthened me. I break down because it is in human nature. I cry, be sad and its allowed, it’s a way of relieving yourself of stresses. After doing this I take time off and I return a stronger person. I’ve turned so many wounds of mine into glory, into inspirational ideas and have not allowed my condition to define me or limit me. I do not allow negativity to limit me. I do not allow all the controversies around me to set barriers for me, I still surpass all the negative energy. I am proud of myself.
9) What is your message to all the women out there?
Everyone is born of a woman and does not just come out and start running. You are born from the womb, you learn to crawl, after crawling, you walk, after walking, you run, after running you fly. Each and every step takes time but eventually you will get there. Keep growing!
